Chaya Sara 5786

From the beginning of the 10 tests that Avraham Avinu went through, the end of the test is the hardest part, because it doesn't end with confetti and whistles, but always some doubt.. After Avraham finds Hashem, he gets thrown into the fire. He survives but his brother does not. He is then told to go to the land of Cannan, He listens and there’s a famine.  He has to go down to Mitzrayim where he is tested further. That is how it ends, he believes he is right and intuits G-ds world and will, and goes forward. 

. The Akeida starts right after “after these words” Which words? 

 An exchange occurred between Yishmael and Yitzchak when Yishmael came to visit Avraham. Yishmael says to Yitzchak, You think your so good, you had your mila on the 8^th day when you had no choice, I was 13 and agreed to go forward with it. Yitzchak answered, if Hashem would ask me to give up my life I would be willing to do it. After these words, Hashem tests Avraham with the Akeida. After Avraham and Yitzchak return to Yishmael and Eliezer waiting with the donkeys, Yishmael says to Yitzchak, “You were willing to give up your life, but you didn’t do it. I will sacrifice my very life for Hashem.  Yet Hashem had asked Avraham not to. He doesn’t want human sacrifice, he wants us to choose to live ! The Tora portion we read is reoccurring in some form when we read it. This want for life entered into the children of Yitzchak. This will in general, and especially when threatened, the will to live. Self sacrifice entered into Yishmael’s children, the view of suicide bombing as a service to Hashem, How does one undo the  self murder and murder as gift to G-d, when they consider it a task of the highesr order.  

After the Akeida, Sara Imeinu is niftar. Would Avraham question his actions, or would he know in his full faith, That he was correct and her death was to happen, or would he fail at the end and regret his actions. Though He cries for her, and buries her, his faith in Hashem stays strong, his faith in himself and his actions, stay firm and he passes his strength on to his children. 

     Usually, time reveals incrementally the truths that come to pass. How do you know if your choices were successful? What  in the long run leads to life and blessing, which is the path upward.  Many people prefer safety.  Safety , in this case means not being faced with choices for fearing their individuality as seen by your  choices. To have safety, means to keep out any questions, and introspection, any evaluation of self, family, community, leader because the questions are frightening, and the answers more so. So they entrap themselves in a group that listens to ____.  , and can be assured hey listened. What usually happens, the leader becomes larger than life, you have noone to ask your questions with, rule lists become tighter, and infractions cause shame and out.   Some groups can hold a person to a basic  standard of truth. , but hen it becomes a demand of complete adherence to one type of thing and all else is considered other, is where  the slippery slope of losing yourself, your dreams and your potential for living the ife you wanted.  The sadness with oneself, the anxiety of allowing anything in, the shutting down of self analysis, comes out in the avoidance of close friends and family substituted by a group friends  with noone to talk to or be honest with. In the end, the short long path, its giving up everything, including who you are , for nothing. 

In this situation, the only way forward is making a decision to go up, despite the hardships, and facing the difficult truths making the decision o go up, is the start to prepare oneself, for the beginning of introspection.

After Avraham buries Sara, the tora doesnt speak much f Avraham. He in fact goes to live with Yishmael and tries to get him to be the person he can. Hagar is still there and they remarry, sending these 6 to the east.  He stays with Yishmael until he is accepted by hm and his behavior becomes that of self respect and Adam. It says Avraham was gathered up  onto his nation, he lived a life and grew old with equanimity.  Right after this, it says Yishamel lived and he was gathered up onto his nation, a euphemism, that he was accepted above and had done teshuva

That is the ending to this story. How will his children get there, One decision, one person at a time not to buy into the hurting of others as a way forward, until there is an avalanche of change, one decision at a time.

As heard from Harav Ephraim Goldstein, compiled by myself, the errors and misspeaks are mine